So, a few days ago Tumblr sent me an email saying that this ‘blog’ was now two years old. And I couldn’t help but remember how it was used along the years.
Firstly, this blog was called writersblock.tumblr or writerblock.tumblr, a place for me to write now ideas never used, never developed, a role that is now being played by papaerwaste.tumblr.com .
It happen, around november, two years ago, that my life took a very shit turn and I delete everything I had here and change the address to what it is now, in short, a place to cry out and rant about my life. And thus I posted all kind of shit here. Go on, look for it in the earlier posts, four words for you: nsfw.
Well, time passed, I slowly got better, got a few crushes now and then, nothing that worked, and the focus of this blog changed.
I’m still pretty much the same I was when I move back to London, specially, I continue alone and therefore, sometimes, lonely.
But it is all my fault I guess, because, in this last year, I can’t help but to think in only one person.
Soon it will came the day I met you, and unfortunately soon will also come the day I last saw you.
That is no day that pass without thinking about you, your smile, the sweet sound of your voice, the lovely way you walk.
That is no bus I take where I don’t day dream of you coming in just in the next bus stop, the metro the pass by the places you lived, where maybe you would be going to see your sister, and take the same train, same carriage.
And I always find myself trying to figure out your reaction, if you would talk to me, if I would be able to tell you anything.
Mind you, I don’t dare to dream in having you, you are just, basicly, everything I ever dream, while I’ve become almost everything I ever despised, and sometimes I get close in removing this ‘almost’.
But if I could see you, talk to you… I really don’t know. I mean, I know, sometimes, in a world with what, seven billion people, against all the possible odds, things happen, but that would be just too good, a gift, a bless I do not deserve.
Well, you probably will never now this, all I feel, never really will know me and must surely will never read this.
As I was saying before getting lost in my thoughts, it is almost a year. A year where every day I think of you, and I fear the day that will come and I won’t.
It will happen, sooner or later, it will happen. The day when I will close my eyes and not see yours, when I won’t hear your voice in the silence of the night. It will come the day where all that will last, will be the memory of your name, among many others that are now just part of my past. And I fear this day.
An advertising campaign has taken a step to raise awareness for prostate cancer by proving really how much a mans upper lip pride can make a difference. For those of you that don’t know, the month of november is an important month for raising awareness and donations for prostate cancer. If you have some spare change go and donate to the cause.
A digital magazine designed for men myself and others launched last month supports prostate cancer all year round with any profits coming from the store (coming soon) going directly to help with prostate cancer research in the United Kingdom.
Lets tackle Prostate Cancer - Moustache First.
Because we are in Movember
…that is a slight change in the blog description. Now it reads like it is wrong but is purely intentional.
Last, I correct the noob misspelling in the ‘update' post: tryce replaced by thrice. I notice something was amiss when I typed it but didn’t bother to check at the time.
After the last, changing the email to my main one.
When it started?
Hard to say.
I think, the first signal was downloading Counter Strike and playing it for a while. No networking playing, no, just with bots, just for fun.
Not long after I was thinking once more in Age of Empires (II), I even try to play it on mac but it doesn’t work properly, so, I pick up my old netbook, an Acer Crapbook bought in Italy for € 200.00, it comes with Windows 7 but by then, was with Ubuntu on it, don’t ask me the version, I don’t remember. It is the one with Gnome 3.
Thinking on it now, I always liked the Gnome 3 look, it flees from the MacOS way of be. Unfortunately, the crapbook doesn’t have enough RAM memory to run it properly.
Also, the lack of memory make it really hard to play Age 2 via wine.
My solution was restoring the original Shitwindows.
Now, if my memory isn’t messing up with me, I tried once to restore the windows back on this shity piece of plastic, it gave me a lot of headache, because, for some reason that only the Lord knows why, the installation of Windows 7 didn’t rewrote the MBR, as it had always done.
It took me a couple of days until I got it running again. So I was expecting this to happen. You know, it wasn’t important, I probably would just put the crapbook aside and back to my mac. Yet, surprisingly, it worked.
And then I installed Age of Empires II: The Conquerors, and everyone lived happy ever after. Only not.
Yes, I did install Age 2 and it worked as expected, with minor lags (have I mentioned the low memory it has on it?). Was I happy, a bit. But in no way I can play as I once did. Both in skill and time.
I remember, of hot days and cold nights were I just seat in front of the computer for hours playing this very single game.
Of games played online in the defunct MSN Game Zone. Old clans, rivalries. How old was I? It would be around 2000, so, it land me on 14 or 15 years old. It last of more or less three years.
A time long past. A time without worries. A time where not even in the weirdest of my dreams I would see myself in England, divorced, at 27. Man, I’m getting old. :)
I stopped playing it to play Ragnarok Online, that is a cousin I have to blame for it. And someone who much later would become a good friend, who is also on England now. Bet he didn’t dream with it by then as well.
When I tried return to Age, the Zone was officially dead. And so was my skills.
Yet, no regrets. Never. I have plenty of fun then and since then. Both with games and people. With time I became more sociable. Still far from the outgoing child I once was, but better then during my teenage years.
Still, computer games always draw me. Specially those I used to play, as Age of Empires, Counter Strike and the later addition and addiction, The Sims, specially Life Stories.
Which I installed as soon as I got tired of playing Age. It just another game to eat your time away without you noticing it.
Lastly, just got back Blink 182 discography. What can I say, feeling nostalgic.
Well, that is a long time since I’ve written anything worth reading here. So, since I’m going to Brazil (HOLIDAY) I, well, whatever.
So, going to Brazil basically means I’m bankrupted. The ticket is freaking expensive and I just got luck to found it for just £780.00 via TAP. And here I’m disappointed with TAM, in two weeks time the ticket went from £750.00 to over £900. Once more, lucky with TAP.
Twice Lucky indeed, albeit more changes since is London > Lisbon > Rio > Florianópolis instead of Londo > Rio/Sao Paulo > … as it would be with TAM, the time between the flights a short, around two hours, which in a behemoth distance as it is, really helps.
Maybe Thrice Lucky, the trans-ocean flight will be in day time, no need to pretend to sleep, try to read in the week light. Everyone awake.
But I’m expecting it to be full, so no row of chairs just for my pleasure.
Also, I’ll arrive at the same day of departure from London, at the last minute, still, same day.
That is it folks, I’ll have fun with something else for a while then work. Still a week to go.